BOB CASELLA
The Globalist Post is satire that is meant for a laugh. If you can't take a joke, leave.
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MEANDER | 36,187 Likes >>
George did not get rich being stupid. George understands important business words like “synergies” and Return on Influence, which capitalists refer to as ROI.
For every dollar George spends on a District Attorney, he gets a hundred dollars back in the form of Democrat Utopia.
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For every dollar spent, he gets 89 pieces of poop.
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For every dollar spent, he gets 77 discarded heroin needles.
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For every dollar spent, he gets carte blanche for 10 Antifa to trash cities without fear of arrest.
Where else are you going to get that much poop, needles and property crime for such little money! We love trashing cities, but we hate going to jail. So George is buying as many District Attorney’s as he can, and it’s time to BASH THE FASH!
Trash cans are racist! Litter is diverse! BASH THE TRASH!
To all you haters asking “what right does George have buying up DA’s in my country?”
Well, the answer is simple: George is NOT Hungarian.
When George was a clump of cells, he was pulled out of a vagina in the area referred to as Hungary. This detail does not however make George a Hungarian. George identifies as a New Yorker – and he lives near Hillary who is POTUS by popular vote. And as an American, and a Democrat, it is George’s right to destroy this country by inflicting a nationwide epidemic of lawlessness and chaos. So there.
Look at some of the DA dream team George has bought
Chesa Boudin | San Francisco
Former translator for human rights activist Hugo Chavez
Platform: Throw ICE officers in jail. Illegal aliens and homeless can do whatever they want.
Lil Kim Foxx | Chicago
Hailing from the Murder City, she dropped charges against Juicy Smolliet for his hate hoax, because of course he is innocent.
Platform: Chicago is Racist!
“You’re Killing Me Larry” Larry Krasner | Philly
Like hiring Jeffery Epstien to babysit a teenage cheerleader, the hallmark of any district attorney is one whom spent their career defending thugs - pro bono. That shows a great respect for law and order.
Platform: Nobody should go to jail. In Philly of the Future you can stab someone to death in broad daylight and not go to jail. Progress!
Rachael Rollins | Boston
Los Angeles, I see your decriminalizing petty theft and I’ll raise you an “end cash bail”
Platform: end cash bail and stop prosecuting 15 low-level charges because these policies have worked so great in places like Los Angeles. In the rare event you actually do something bad enough to get arrested, no biggie! Just go home!
Meander is a non-binary gender studies adjunct professor and contributor to the Globalist post. Meander's personal preferred pronouns (PPP) are ze/hir. Ze lives and works in Portland with hir partner and thir non-binary dogs, Shakepeare and Xir. Follow hir on Twitter where ze's telling you to let stuff sink in.
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